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“I don’t want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do, I hire him to tell me how to do what I want to do.” - J.P. Morgan

How do you find a good divorce mediator?

Divorce is on the rise in the United States, including New York. The end of a marriage can arouse a lot of negative emotions including sadness, depression, frustration and anger. To minimize some of these emotions, many want to handle their divorce through mediation. So how do you go about choosing the right mediator for your divorce? Here are some key points to consider.

You need to look for a divorce mediator who offers a consolidated fee for all services. The divorce mediator should provide free consultation and should include an assessment of the marital property. A good divorce mediator should be only handling divorce mediation cases. Very often, full time divorce mediators are divorce litigation lawyers. They may not have the mindset for divorce mediation. Divorce mediation requires a conflict management mindset and training to excel.

Remember that a good divorce mediator is someone who is very good at problem solving. Ideally, you should go for someone who is able to offer a multiple solutions for each complex problem. The mediator should be compassionate and should care enough about your family's well-being.

A good mediator will always ensure that his or her client comes out of the divorce settlement with a fair deal. The individual will never act as a catalyst to the divorce. The mediator will always ask if you and your spouse are prepared to move on in life. The divorce mediator should not take your case unless he or she feels that you and your spouse will be successful.

Source: The Huffington Post, "How to Find a Good Divorce Mediator? Your Five Rules of Thumb," Jan. 12, 2015

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